Dear Meek Defenders:
I was going to tell a delightful analogy of the current government shutdown, complete with a fantastical restaurant in which a Chef Bama tried to serve some Tea Party members some metaphoric dishes. But another day.
Instead, I will tell you of festum fatuorum, or the Feast of Fools.
In the medieval ages, there were four days out of the year in which the Church abandoned “solemnity, order, restraint, fellowship, earnestness, a love of God, and sexual decorum” and got down (de Botton 63). Devout Christians satirized the gospels while the clergy played Monopoly on the alter*, with women braying instead of saying Amen. Debbie Devout Housewife made it with Sincere Sidney in the holy water. The people played beer pong **, prayed to vegetables ***, and generally indulged in the worst of ourselves.
And may I note—this was Church sanctioned.
So why, you might ask, is this the topic of today’s writing?
Because people acknowledged that part of maintaining a health community was to allow its members, on occasion, to act like total savage jackasses. To behave with civility and morality all the time is to invite brazen immorality and general dickishness.
And now to the matter at hand. Congress—you have gotten more than enough Feast of Fool days. You have slept with interns, tapped bathroom stalls, misquoted the Constitution, taken millions of lobbyist dollars, done cocaine while proclaiming marijuana a “social evil,” and the list goes on…
Congressional fools, you’ve had your days. Get back to work.
* dice, board games weren’t invented until the Mormons came around.
** The Medieval version of beer pong was called “drink mead now, you scoundrel”
*** both a euphemism and a great idea—I pray to the almighty radish god daily so I don’t have to eat them