Happy Birthday Occupy Wall Street! So where’s the movement going?

Dear Fox News:

You are right. The Occupy Wall Street protests are entirely composed of slaw-jawed, smoking, Marxist, jobless morons…except it’s not. Now, in my multi-part series, I introduce Fetzer Mills:

Fetzer Mills:

Age: 51


Favorite Ice Cream: Rocky Road (note: forgot to ask, possibly Fox news-inaccurate)

Now, hear Fetzer’s opinion of the common FOX news criticism that protestors have not yet offered specific legislation to totally end the inequity in the financial sector and put all Americans back to work.


If you liked this video, write a comment. Plenty more where this came from.

Cowpoke Dave Marches to Times Square

Howdy folks. I realize ol’ Cowpoke Dave left you in a bit of a cliffhanger last time. But don’t you worry. I didn’t spend the night in the slammer. But a few folks did.

Here’s what happened, as the Yankees say.

After the Washington Square rally, yers truly got himself a slice of down-home NYC Ben’s pizza. And after restin’ my sore dandies for a spell, the crowd started a cryin’ and I know the song was marching.

My heart said, ‘you old classical composer cowpoke, time to get!”

So get I did.

There’s a sayin’ where I come from. A man’s gun is his heart, and flowers are his soul. But the truth is, what livens up a man is the passion of his fellow man (or woman, as the time dictates). And there was passion a plenty to be found.

I hear there was 6,000 to 20,000 folks marching for economic equality. Hooting. Hollering. Sometimes both. And marching. Yessir, marching. Trouble was, the men in blue were right beside us.

Now I don’t have a problem with the po-lice, per se. They’re part of the 99% too, after all. And these were a nice enough bunch, but there sure were a lot of them. But at 35th street, the police tried a maneuver on us protestors, and split us into two groups, di-ver-tin’ us to two sides of the street. And I ain’t talking Wall Street and Main street.

Fer awhile, all was well and good. But then the people started to get restless, shouting, “Let us cross.” At one point, a young boy with Spring still in his eyes tried to cross and the police grabbed him. “Let him go,” we call shouted, and sure enough, the blue men did.

But nearin’ 42nd street and Broadway, we realized that we had to cross if we were gonna reach Times Square. So we started shoutin’ again. And just when this ol’ Cowpoke thought violence might rear its ugly head, on 46th we got to cross and marched towards Times Square.
Was it a sight!

Folks were hollering, “Whose street? Our street,” and “take the square.” And the crowd headed full force towards those perty neon lights. I tell ya. This de-mo-cra-cy’s a messy thing, but darned if it isn’t the most beautiful thing in the world. Until next adventure, fellow cowpokes! Giddy up!

When the Cowpoke Occupied Wall Street: Part One

Shucks, fellas. It’s sure been a while. If you don’t recall, I’m cowpoke Dave, classical composer, occasional flower festival appreciator, and now, revolutionary. That’s right. There’s an anger itch’n my britches, and it’s corporate greed. Cowpoke Dave’s got grievances.

Now, Cowpoke Dave’s had a steady job for a few years. And Cowpoke Dave shaves regularly. So as I walked to Liberty Square, once Zuccotti Park, I must admit I didn’t know if this ol’ cowpoke’d fit in. Luckily, them Fox newsers couldn’t see a turd if it were dropping out of their fanny.

That’s right. I saw all sorts of folks getting ready to march to Washington Square; black folk, white folk, bearded folk, small folk, tall folk, old folk, young folk, babies, veterans, baby-veterans—I tell ya. All walks of life were gearing up to walk in this here march.

‘Round 11:15, the march began. Now folks, Cowpoke Dave’s not a marcher. I’m a classical composer, for Pete’s sake (God rest your soul, Pete). So when the people started screamin’, I got a little jittery in the pants:

Occupy Wall Street/ all day all Week
Banks got bailed out/We got sold out
Show me what democracy looks like
this is what democracy looks like

That one was a little long for this tune-whistler’s preference, but dang if I didn’t start a chanting. As we walked up to Washington Square, there were tons of folks watching and staring. Lots of them tourist buses passed, and the protestors (yours truly included, of course), yelled:

Get of the bus/Come join us!

What a rootin’ tootin protestin’ grand time, no?

And finally, finally, we reached Washington Square Park. There were more people there than this ol’ cowpoke’s seen in some time, smilin’ and waving signs. It was so beautiful that I started to tear up a little, truth be told. I mean, this is de-mo-cra-cy, ain’t it? Messy? Sure. But dang if I didn’t feel like it was about time.

Yet dark skies were about to descend on the Big Apple, ’cause the march weren’t through yet. That’s right. Though my dogs were barkin’, they’d have to bark a little longer–Times Square was a callin’…

Tune in for my next adventure, coming soon…